


The Antonym of Redamancy

by disloyaltykpop



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Soulmates, Character Death, F/M, Hanahaki Disease, Soulmates
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-02
Updated: 2021-03-02
Packaged: 2021-03-15 03:42:56
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, Major Character Death
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,129
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29802423
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/disloyaltykpop/pseuds/disloyaltykpop
Summary: At the age of fourteen, a designated emblem appears amidst the middle of your forearm. It could be a simple butterfly that flutters upon the appearance of your soulmate or a flower that blooms when they get close. For you, it was the branches of a sakura tree reaching out to a love you didn't have in return. | HANAHAKI AU
Relationships: Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Mark Lee, Lee Donghyuck | Haechan/Reader, Lee Jeno/Reader, Na Jaemin/Reader
Kudos: 5





	The Antonym of Redamancy

**Author's Note:**

> This was HEAVILY inspired by the movie "The Holiday". The opening dialogue was just *chef's kiss*. I've also been wanting to write a hanahaki au for ages, but never had the ball to so uh, here it is!

**— AS A CHILD, YOU WERE SO** infatuated with the thought of love. You used to believe that it was the biggest treasure in life and the most magical thing a person could have. Love had become one of the biggest dreams you wanted to make into a reality. It began when you truly realized the love your parents had for one another and how united it made your family. They had such an inseparable bond; eternal and impenetrable. Society wasn't much help either. They went on an about the importance it was to have a soulmate bond. The very reason people were put onto this Earth was to find their soulmate, specifically for aveos like you. 

At that age, you were far too young and naive to know what it actually meant to be in love and have a soulmate. You didn’t know the consequences - both good and bad, that came with loving someone. You never knew it would come with so much pain and loss . . . so many sleepless nights crying your heart and soul over someone you believed would be by your side. You never knew that for some inexplicable reason, love fades. For others, love is simply lost. Then, of course, love is also found even if it’s merely a fling or an overnight stay. However, there's also another kind of love. This kind of love is the cruelest in all its simplicity. It’s the one that brings out one’s darkest insecurities and fears and kills its victims from the inside out. It’s called unrequited love.

When the emblem appeared on your arm at the tender age of just fourteen -- the sakura flowered branches reaching out towards the distance, you were still naive to the dark sides of a soulmate bond. The idea of having an unrequited love was so unreal for you. It just didn’t make sense how the universe had created such a powerful thing, if it would only be rejected. What was the point then?

“You’re doing it again,” Haechan deadpans. It makes you tear your eyes away from the boy who had caused so much heartache and headaches in your life.

How fucked reality was. Natural selection really outdid itself this time with literally giving a death sentence for simply not being loved in return. You didn’t get to choose whether you were an aveo or teneo. It just happened. It was something that would be chosen the moment your emblem would grow.

It’s sad really, how society loves to cover the imperfections it really has. How they love to glorify the stories of those who fall in love and have their happily ever after. But what about those who don’t? What happens to them? They are victims of a one-sided affair, a poisoned apple that will never leave their system. They are deprived of a happiness that was never given the chance of blossoming. They are the unloved ones, the walking wounded. And unfortunately, you just so happened to be among them.

“Doing what?” The gnawing feeling was back in your stomach again. Your soulmate was close, far too close for your liking. He sat literally on the opposite side of the cafe you and Haechan were currently treating yourself at. It didn’t help that he was in your clear vision with two girls that were no doubt trying their hardest to charm him.

Instinctively, your hand finds itself pulling down on the sleeves of your sweater. It became a form of consolation in wearing them now. The sleeves helped cover the constant reminder that you were just a defect of society; an aveo who's bond had been rejected. It was sad, really. You used to love the uniqueness of your emblem; sakura branches slowly reaching out towards your soulmate. The pink petals slowly glided with, just millimeters above it. It was a real-life painting of its own, one that had conveyed your tragic love story perfectly.

“Don’t play dumb,” He says with a roll of his eyes. “You’re looking at Jaemin again. You have this lovesick look on your face.”

“It’s just-” You cut yourself short as you glance at Jaemin once more. He was looking straight at you no doubt experiencing exactly what your sakura tattoo was doing. “I’m sorry.”

Crazy how things change, huh? One second, you and Jaemin were ready to take on the world and the next it was like he was never even there. Correction, you were never even there. Jaemin had completely shut you out of his life as though you had never meant anything at all to him.

“Look, I’m not gonna shit on your pity parade, but-“ He pauses as he tries to collect his thoughts. “Okay, it may look like I am, but really I’m not trying to this time. You can’t keep doing this to yourself.”

A gnawing feeling was growing at the base of your stomach as you tried to swallow the lump in your throat. You knew what he was saying was true, but no matter how many times you heard it, it hurt all the same. “What do you expect me to do Haechan? We’re aveos. It’s impossible for us to get over our soulmate,” You sigh dejectedly as you feel the tears well in your eyes.

Right, another fucked up thing society decided to frown onto. Teneos were practically glorified for the simple fact that they were able to love freely and choose who they wanted to be with. A soulmate bond wasn’t something essential for them to live, for them to understand what it meant to love and be loved.

Unfortunately, that hadn’t been the case for aveos. “He- Jae . .” He pauses as he sighs. “I heard he’s seeing someone Y/n.”

_I knew it. I fucking knew it._

The idea had first circulated in your brain when you reached the second stage of the disease. You kept a keen eye whenever it came to him despite the logical things your brain was telling you - _get on with it_ \- yet you hadn’t.

Maybe you were a masochist. You had a clear answer as to what to do and yet, you don’t bother to do it. The truth of things was that people crave for others who don’t even feel the same for them. And unfortunately, even though it was a chaotic way to learn what love was, it was something almost everyone went through. People want things they can’t have which is why they find it even harder to move on.

“I . . . had a feeling,” You trail off as you look towards your feet. The sickening feeling is at the pit of your stomach again, but luckily it wasn’t enough to trigger the petals. God, did you hate those things. If anyone were to ever gift you with any type of flowers, you’d burn them along with the person who gave them to you.

Haechan’s sympathetic eyes met yours. Even though he could be a total dickhead, you knew better than anyone else that he cared about you. “I just don’t understand,” You sigh as you rest your jaw and cheek onto your palm. “Like what am I doing so wrong? Why couldn’t you and I have been each other’s loves?”

You hadn’t been the only one burdened with the disease. Haechan had too. The only difference between the two of you was that Haechan was actually going to go through with what you couldn’t. He went the route that could allow aveos to live; surgically removing the disease. It was something that sounded so simple, however when you try to push against the balance of nature, it’ll push back harder.

When an aveo goes through the surgery, that feeling of joy and happiness they’re supposed to give to a teneo dissipates with the removal of the disease. They will never be able to feel that sense of happiness, of joy . . . of feeling loved. It will become an unnerving cycle of feeling accepted and loved which is why the mere idea of the surgery terrifies you. It’s odd since such an alternative had been made for a small sliver of the population. It wasn’t common to have your bond rejected. You and Haechan unfortunately just ended up being the defects in the system, and ultimately had to deal with the consequences.

“Hun, the universe knew what it was doing when it decided to make me a gay man and you in love with an idiot. Otherwise, this world would’ve been fucked.” Haechan says with a playful roll of his eyes.

“Yeah,” You respond with a laugh. “They wouldn’t be ready.”

Haechan gives one final glance to Jaemin before his sad eyes fall onto you. “You know what? Let’s go.”

“What?” You say taken aback. He’s coming to your side now.

“But you’ve wanted to come here for the longest-” Your words get caught off by Haechan.

“And I can wait some more. Let’s go before the waitress comes and asks us what we want.” He says as he holds his hand out.

From your peripheral vision, you can see Jaemin still looking at the both of you. The nauseating feeling suddenly come back again despite your heart feeling otherwise. However, the idea of leaving isn’t so much of a doubt anymore. And so, your hand slips into Haechan’s as he helps you up. He places his jacket over your shoulders, and the two of you leave.

“You did that to prove a point,” You deadpan as the two of you walk away from the restaurant. “You always give me shit for never being prepared for the weather.”

“So what if I did?”

“He’s probably laughing right now Chanie. You’re gay.”

“But he doesn’t know that,” Haechan clarifies as the two of you walk. “They speculated about it, but they weren’t sure.”

Hearing those words, you couldn’t help but think about the way you and Haechan had fallen apart from the group. You used the excuse of being so flooded with homework and work - which hadn’t been a lie, to cover the real reason as to why you wanted to distance yourself; the hanahaki disease infesting your body. The day you found out Haechan had it, he briefly mentioned how it had happened. His bond and love for Mark weren’t reciprocated especially since Mark didn’t have the same sexual preference as Haechan. The two of you became each other’s moral support after that. You cried to one another, you confided in one another . . . you understood each other. It was a bond you felt you could never have with anyone.

“Did you always want to do it?” You blurt out. “The surgery, I mean.”

“Of course not,” Haechan responds almost immediately. “I always believed what everyone says. How our oh-so-marvelous teneos will rid us of all of our worries once we meet and the bond is secured.” He looks out in the distance before looking back at you. “But they don’t give a shit about aveos except filling that empty void, and they most certainly don’t give a shit about us gays. So what’s the point in allowing my body to kill itself over something that wouldn’t be allowed in society anyway? What’s the point of dragging it on when you know that person doesn’t love you back? They’re in love with the concept of a soulmate, not with you.”

That had hit home. Jaemin did nothing but shove it in your face that he was perfectly fine without you. The emblem - a symbol that was supposed to represent love and happiness was nothing but a constant burn on your arm.

Despite Haechan not answering your question, his words seemed like a newfound revelation. Jaemin was passionate and lovely and everything in between. But he was dangerous. He was dangerous because Jaemin didn’t need anyone. He knew how to let go fast and move on even faster which was the reason why you just never thought it was easy for him to do that to you of all people . . . for him to make the decision to reject the bond. Yet as Haechan’s words sink in, maybe Jaemin believed in that too. Maybe that had been the reason why he had decided to reject it, to go against the system and the stereotype.

“You’re right,” You respond to Haechan. It was odd really. You had heard those words a million times before in every possible way a person could say it. Yet today, hearing them Haechan was like a slightly new revelation. However this time, it wasn’t a means of letting Jaemin go. Instead, a new drive had started to course your veins.

You were going to prove to Jaemin that love was still real as ever. You were going to make Na Jaemin fall in love with you.


End file.
